Internet Safety Series, Part 1

In my day job, I have been asked to give talks on Internet Safety to teenagers. I have found those conversations to be meaningful, and I hope that they learn something. Since I started writing the Flossip however, I realize I need to start talking more to parents. If you have a child that gets on a computer? You need to read this. I don’t care if this post reveals a little about the real me, because it is that important to me.

So many of you are letting your children play a game of online Russian Roulette. And no, I don’t mean chat roulette, though I will talk about that later.

First of all, I don’t personally think anyone under 9th grade NEEDS to be on Facebook. However, they should NEVER be on facebook with an account that you do not always have the password to. Ever. Guess what Mom and Dad? You need to be logging into that account on a regular basis. I grew up in a house where I had zero expectation of privacy unless I was in the bathroom. My mother knew who, she knew what, she knew where, she knew why, and she knew how. I may have slipped a few things by her, but not many.

So, if you have a child that wants a facebook account there HAVE to be ground rules.

Your child’s wall needs to be hidden from everyone but their friends. As I was writing this I checked the children of three of my friends. I am not friends with any of the children and I could see their wall posts, their status updates, their list of friends, their photos. That is like opening your front door and letting anyone look in to see what all you may have inside. This is easy to check. Copy the homepage link on your child’s facebook page. Log out of facebook. Past the link the toolbar. What can you see? That is exactly what a stranger can see. How can you fix this? I am so glad you asked.
First, click “Privacy Settings” on facebook.
Second, Select “Profile Information”.
Third, Click “Posts By Me” (Though you should change every single setting on this page to “Only Friends”)

Fourth, Choose “Only Friends”.

Now, your child is much safer and it only took a few minutes.

If your child is on facebook (or bebo or myspace or pogo or casual collective) you need to continue to have open and honest discussions with him or her.  It isn’t just fear of people intent on criminal activity and personal harm, but it exposes your child to a whole new level of potential bullying.  The fact is that people are mean and kids can be meaner. I have been blogging in one form or another for seven years. In that time I have learned that people think the computer provides them a shield to be a total jerk. Grown men and women say things that they would never say to the public at large. Kids are no different, and in fact may be worse.  A recent DOJ study showed that more than 43% of teenagers report being victims of cyber bullying.  In those cases 9 out of 10 victims knew the person/persons who were bullying them, and only 10% ever told their parents what was going on.

They also need to understand that anyone can make a profile under any name. A raunchy looking guy just out of federal prison can easily upload a picture of a teenager, type in a name, and say they are seventeen years old. They can then easily go in and start friending people with something as casual as “Hey, I’m Mandy’s friend, we met at the beach last year.” Most kids will think… “Hmmm. Maybe I do know you.”
They have to be INFORMED. For them to be informed, YOU have to be informed. Ask around, email me anytime. Google can be your best friend.

I mentioned earlier that I was going to talk about Chat Roulette and Omegle. That is a serious and frank discussion that we need to have, so I will save that for post 2 in the internet safety series.

You may also want to check out NetSmartz.org. and WiredKids.